New Improved Alphabet Poster Print

Regular price £18.00 Sale

We're all used to the modern Latin alphabet. 26 letters which, in their myriad combinations, can bring us 'To be or not to be, that is the question' one minute and 'Doris, I'm sorry I broke your iPad' the next. Incredible! But, is it enough? Our contemporary era has far more in it than even the most clued-in Romans could have imagined, and so here is a New Improved Alphabet which we can use to verbalise, describe, and scream 'Look out, it's a .....!' about everything from apples to economic collapse to, er... giant sea monsters. Here's a rundown:

A is for apple
SUPER-A is for a more expensive apple
HALF B (formerly 1p) is for half-a-bit
DIRTY C is for bad words and critical assessments
DEEEE is the cost-cutting merger of D and E
F is for (and has been copyrighted by) Facebook
TOWER G is for sale
LOWERCASE H is for saying 'hi' in libraries
I is for 'me' except after 'see'
DOUBLE J is for 'job justification'
BROKEN K is for 'it's not OK'
L is for litigation
EM-EN is for 'emenentureen, my dear whatsit'
O-WITHIN-O-WITHIN-O is for 'oh'
PEEPEE is for cheap laughs
Q is for 'get out of my way' or 'hey, I was here first'
OPEN-TOP R is for making the most of global warming in literature
FENCED-OFF S is none of your business
TV is for advertisements
U is for universe (closed Tuesdays)
V is for victory
UNDERWATER V is for victory against the giant undersea monster
DOUBLE-U DOUBLE-U is for quadruple-U
EX is for sundry embarrassment
Y is for 'why not?'
Y, OH Y is what usually happens after 'why not?'
Z is for 'I have fallen asleep at work'
The rest is silence... and mathematics

Size: 16.5 x 11.5 inches, 42 x 29.7 cm
Professionally printed on 200gsm/120lb premium archival heavy silk paper
Shipped in a sturdy mailing tube
The print is sold unframed (the frame in the photo - a standard IKEA RIBBA frame - is for illustrational purposes only)

Flat rate shipping
UK £1.00 per order
EU £2.00 per order
USA £3.00 per order
Rest of the world £3.00 per order
Free shipping on orders over £50

Delivery method
Royal Mail First Class Post (UK orders)
Royal Mail standard Airmail (international orders)

Delivery estimates after dispatch
UK 1-2 business days
Ireland 1 week
Continental Europe 1-2 weeks
USA and Canada 2-3 weeks
Australia 2-3 weeks
Rest of the world 2-3 weeks

Please note, items can take up to 7 business days (UK) or 5 weeks (everywhere else) to arrive depending on local and international postal conditions, though the above estimates are usually the normal shipping times. Shipping may be slower at certain times of the year, so please allow for this when placing your order.

Returns and Exchanges
  • Standard Designs gladly accepts returns, exchanges and cancellations
  • For returns, contact us within 30 days of purchase
  • Ship items back within 30 days of purchase
  • Custom items and gift cards cannot be returned or exchanged
  • Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs
  • If a returned item is not in its original condition the buyer is responsible for any loss in value
  • Cancellations can occur only before an item is shipped
Full details of our returns, refunds and exchanges policy can be found on our Policies page.